(ain't) fairy tales..

Your Sibling.

Dear my only sibling..my younger brother.

As I write this down, you are on your way taking our mom to buy things we need for the Idul Fitri. That’s one of many things I’m proud of you. You never say no to mom’s orders. I know it’s not always easy to go with whatever mom told you to do. But I know you’ll keep on trying. You, my best brother. 

Yes, I’m proud to be your sister. No doubt about it. You’re a perfect brother God made for me through our mom and dad. I know this would sound silly but I don’t mind being silly right now. Silly letter is this very first letter I write to my dearing younger brother. 

Ah. This is so weird. I never write letters to you, my younger brother. As we meet every and each day as always and will be. (ah. what a sentence!) Now I’m wondering what should I write here. Ah. Stupid letter challange I made this to be. 

Hmm.. Let me think of what I should write, ya.. hhhmmmm… eh, Can I ask you something? How was it like to be in our mom’s womb? I used to live there, too, you know. It was my home for nine months and couple days just like you were, too. But now, I forgot how it felt to be in mom’s womb. Do you remember? Was it comfortable? Maybe it was warm in there, but it was dark, too, I suppose. 

Brother, I know it’s getting weirder writing (and reading) this stupid letter, and I need to quickly find something to write here to make it at least a tiny better. But I couldn’t. I don’t have anything else I want to tell you through this letter as usually if I have something I need to tell you I just call your name and you’ll be there for me to listen. I don’t have anything to buy at this moment, just like  yesterday you’ve bought credits for me as I run out of credits in my cellphone. I don’t have to go anywhere because I don’t have any agendas to do today that needs me to go out. Just like yesterday when we were going out to market hunting those merchandises to re-sell. I remember clearly how your face was, (we should’ve brought mirror for you to see your face, it was .. mixture of funny and pity you should see your own!) when we were amongst those mad people in the middle of market during hot day of fasting month. It was a mad sea of peopleeee! I’d never forget that moment we share worriness and confuseness and nervousness and thirstyness. lol.

Oya, brother, I remember earlier this morning you told me you wanted to buy jacket, and wanted me to accompany you to buy one, okay, I’ll get ready. I’m moving.

Eh, one more thing I need to tell you. ewwrrr…but maybe I should tell you directly, not via this writing (which I’m not sure that you’ll read my tumblr). So, see you as soon as you brings our mom to our lovely home…..!

I love you, more than you ever know.

(back to silly letter, it is)

Here I am again, starting to blog, again. It’s been a long-long time. Yea. And now, I’m trying to continue what I started. So, this is it.. 

Enjoy!

You don’t want to move on. You don’t want to let go. Because you feel that if you let go, you’ll lose hold of your life. You’ll lose control. You think you’ll go crazy.

But no.

You can move on, you just don’t want to, whether you know it or not. Moving on doesn’t mean you’ll lose control….

quote-book:

(via puresalted)

(this is the lyric to Fidelity by Regina Spektor)

I never loved nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music

And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

I never love nobody fully
Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting by heart truly
I got lost
In the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind
All this music
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart

I hear in my mind all of these voices
I hear in my mind all of these words
I hear in my mind all of this music

Breaks my
Heart
Breaks my heart

kari-shma:

Regina Spektor | Fidelity

lovequotesrus:

“If you’re too busy to call me, i’ll understand. If you don’t have time to check on me, i’ll understand. If you’re late on our date, i’ll understand. But if I stop loving you, it’s your turn to understand.”

lovequotesrus:

“Be honest, even when it hurts.”

oh I wish I could..